老爺, his last moment with us, we will miss him ….


My father-in-law 老爺 passed away last Sunday, and we were at his wake from Mon to Wed, and Thu was his cremation day.

3 days (Thu) before 老爺 passed away, he told Mary(his maid) that he had had a dream. He dreamt that he was eating pork alone and was enjoying his meal. By the way, he had not been able to enjoy food for a long time due to his sickness.

Again on the next day(Fri), 老爺 had the exact same dream, and according to Mary(his maid), in the culture of the Philippines, who ever had such a dream, it means that he or she would pass away soon. Mary was afraid after she had heard this, and as she was not sure of our response, she only shared this with us during the wake.

On Sat morning, 老爺 felt breathless, he went to see his doctor and was advised to admit immediately. 

Two weeks ago, we had already planned a 2 days birthday celebration for 老爺 as his birthday falls on Sep 11. We were going to hold the celebration on both Satuaday & Sunday, but due to this last minute emergency, we had to cancel all the arrangements with the vendor and inform all the invited guests. When we visited him after his admission in the hospital, he cried and felt apologetic about his condition.

Other than the fact that he looked much slimmer, he was still talking with much exuberance as if he was very healthy.

Like before, he could not eat or drink and whenever he tried to eat anything, he felt pain and he also could not stand or walk because he would black out.

Later in the afternoon, he vomited some brown stuff and the nurses came to check on him and asked us if he drank anything of that colour. When we said no, we could tell from the nurse’s facial expression that it was not a good sign.

At about 8+pm, he started to feel pain on the right side of his back and had tried to adjust himself to a comfortable position, but every position seemed to be uncomfortable after 5 minutes, and we could tell he was suffering.

Since he fell sick and started the treatment, it has always been a problem for him to pass motion. At about 11pm, he said he had wanted to go to the toilet and he was escorted to toilet. He manged to pass motion but there was also some blood. 

We left the hospital at around past 12 midnight with very mixed feelings.  At the back of our minds, we were thinking that he would last for a few more days, but we were also sort of prepared that we may be called at night to come back. Anyway we all switch our phone ring tone to the loudest.

That night no one had a good sleep, the hospital called us at 8am and we were told to rush to the hospital as soon as possible.

When we reached the hospital, 老爺 was already in the ICU and the doctor had said that this morning, at 6am,  when he went to visit him, he was still ok, but at 8am, his heart had suddenly stopped, the doctor spent 2 hours trying to get his heart working again. He was in a coma. When we arrived at the hospital, his heart beat was between 90 to 99 and we kept telling him to hang on for my sister-in-law to come back from Hong Kong as her plane would arrive at 11:30am. 

We were told by the doctor that this would be his last moments and that he would not wake up from the coma unless a miracle occured. His breathing was supported by all the machines inserted into his body and once his heart beat stops, it is all over. 

My sister-in-law landed and reached the hospital at 12:30. I think 老爺 heard her as his heart beat had jumped from 95 to 109 and even 110 at one time.

The doctor came in to explain the situation to my sister-in-law once again. We were told perhaps in 3 hours,  老爺’s heart will stop, so many of the church friends of my sister-in-law came to visit and baptise him.  

We waited outside the ICU,  and after 3 hours, 老爺’s heart was still beating. We were still full of hope that he would woken up by all the noises and church songs, but at about 6:20pm, I went into the room to check on him and I notice his heart beat fall to 69 and than 57…, I quickly asked the people in the room with him how long had this been going on, but no one replied me. I guess nobody noticed his heart beat was decreasing and I quickly went out of the room to inform my husband and all the relatives to come back into the room. When we came back, his heart beat had fallen to 33 and it hung there for a few seconds before slowly descending to a 0. 

We were sad but we knew that this would come sooner or later. All we could do was to say our final goodbye to him.


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  1. 三文鱼 says:


  2. I was looking for this thanks for the share.

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